Many people come and go in this long journey on the earth called LIFE. Some people touch our lives to make a small mark, and a few of them make ever lasting impressions in our heart through their love, purity and kindness. In my life, one such fatherly figure who enlightened my family and myself in many ways, has just passed away at 73 and left us in dark. He is Ganapati Damodar Karve, my father-in-law in relationship, but in reality, one loving and lovable personality, who was like both mother and father to me!
Soon after my marriage, I realised that Anna(that was how he was called by all family
members) is different in many aspects. Right from the first day, he was
treating me as EQUAL to any other family member. As we all know, in typical
traditional Indian households, daughter in law seems like a strange alien to
rest of the family members in the early days. It takes some days to develop
warm and cosy relationships in new environment. In my case, I could feel the
warmth and love right from day one, thanks to Anna. He would crack jokes, make
me smile, pull my legs, just like he did for his own children, his nephews,
nieces, grandchildren and so on. Due to this I started feeling comfortable in
new house.
During his first visit to our house in Bangalore, I was bit
anxious as I was not sure if I can fulfill my duties and treat him well, taking
care of my job. First day after my office work, as I returned home, I was
thinking that probably I will have to offer tea to him first. As I stepped in
the house, he asked me what I would like to have. I was surprised and said that
I am fine and do not want anything. Then he insisted me to have tea, I was
still reluctant. Finally he made hot Bournvita with milk and gave me, to my
surprise! I never thought that even a father in law can be so affectionate! Such incidents may
appear to be trivial, but they make huge impact. Small things add up to
make person bigger.
As I spent more and more days with him, I realised that not
only family members, but everyone who came to see him were treated in the same
fashion. He was priest and an astrologer by profession, hence a number of
people visited him daily from all around, places near and far, putting in front
of him variety of problems. Everyone felt extremely comfortable in his company.
He listened to their problems patiently and consoled them with the solution. He
worked very hard all the time. Meeting people and solving their problems was not
only his occupation, but also his passion. He never sent back people coming to
him even at 10 pm. In fact, he was busy making someones charts on the day he
breathed his last! In many occasions he sacrificed his personal duties and
comforts in order to solve his clients problems. And despite the family
pressure in many occasions, he spent time for people. He had a huge extended
family in all these people. Wherever he went, people followed him through phone
calls.
Being jovial and humorous was another side of his
personality. He maintained cool temperament and dealt most of the situations
with cool and peaceful mindset. Probably this was the reason that he remained
happy, healthy and cheerful till his last breath. He told us many times that he
never wanted to be a victim of today's commercialised medical practises,
doctors with not so good intentions, their horrifying tools, machine, tests and
reports. He always relied on Ayurvedic medicines for minor problems, he took
them only when it was absolutely necessary! Thank god, he never had to visit
any hospital till the end.
His love for small children is worth mentioning. He just
enjoyed playing with small children, in fact he himself was like a child when
he played with them. His grand children and rest of the children in family are very
fortunate to have 'ajjoba' like him. He used to play pranks with them, make
them play, cry, laugh and what not! It was entertaining to everyone in the
house.
He had deep knowledge in astrology, Hindu scriptures, Vaidic
culture and Sanskrit language. He had a full faith in them and ardent follower
of our traditions. Whenever we stayed together, because of his strong beliefs
and principles, all of us had to follow some rules which were not so
comfortable and suitable for today's materialistic kind of lifestyle. As they
say that through love you can win the world, I could take all this in a good
spirit due to his largesse. He knew whole lot of Sanskrit 'Subhashita' (short
phrases expressing principles and morals of life). For any given situation, he
would tell us a suitable Subhashita conveying appropriate meaning for that
situation. One Subhashita which he always kept saying was "Anayasena Maranam,
Vinadainyenaa Jivanam', meaning 'Die without suffering, live without
bending(live holding your head high)". He lived and died just as per this
phrase.
Despite his knowledge in above subjects, he had a child-like
curiosity in learning something new. Even at
the age of 73, I have seen him reading a book with highest concentration
till the last page! He was very keen in watching Marathi plays, cinemas and
Kirtanas. He himself used to perform Keertanas.In fact, just at the time of his
death, he was to watch a play that evening.
He also had a passion for Music. He used to enjoy listening
to Hindustani classical and Marathi Natyageet.
He had a talent in singing as well. Even after 70 years, he had a good voice control and used sing
correctly.
I think if there is anything he missed in his life, it was
mastery over English language. He often told us that he wanted to learn it, but
could not get the opportunity. But out
of whatever he knew, he used to make us laugh by playing around with English
words. For any word, he used to twist them, turn them, change their meaning or
utter them completely differently with exactly opposite meaning. For accident,
he would say experiment! For infection, he would say inspection! If I say
'thank you', he would say 'mention not good'!. For sugar, he would say 'sugar
syndicate'!. He used to love having little tea after hard work. Then he would
come and ask "can you give me a big size", by that he meant to have
small size of (a little) tea. Whenever I thought of some word, I kept wondering
what would be his version for that word!.
Every time there was a problem or dilemma we faced in life
so far, his guidance was readily available to us. His solutions were matured
and practical, due to his astrological knowledge and elderly experience.
He lived larger than life, having different dimensions for different people. He will be missed by large number of people. Personally it is a loss for me that can not be filled by any one else. I thank God for giving him in my life. I thank Anna for being what he was for me. I feel that from somewhere, from some world, I hear an affectionate voice, 'mention not good'.
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| At Varanasi |
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| Performing Pooja during 'Maharudra' at home |
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| Celebrating 70th Birthday |
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| Busy at work |
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| Family Picture |
